What skills do coaches practice to communicate being fully present in coaching conversations? How do those conversations support a growth-oriented environment where teachers feel valued, heard, and empowered to take ownership of their professional learning? Consider your use of questions and paraphrases in coaching.

Find “The Leader’s Guide to Coaching in Schools: Creating Conditions for Effective Learning,“ by John Campbell and Christian Van Nieuwerburgh here.

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Podcast Transcript:

[00:00:00.000] – Steve [Intro]

Welcome to the Steve Barkley Ponders Out Loud podcast. As instructional coaches and school leaders, you are tasked with guiding continuous teacher growth to create student success. This podcast looks to support you with strategies from experienced guests, as well as my own insights that I’ve gathered over the years. I’m thrilled to have you with us. Thanks for tuning in.

[00:00:29.860] – Steve

Coaches Listen to Guide Self Discovery. In “The Leaders Guide to Coaching in Schools, Creating Conditions for Effective Learning,” John Campbell and Christian Van Nieuwerburgh highlight three important elements that coaches need to practice: being present, listening actively, and clarifying. Let’s look at each. Being present. The authors highlight that present presence is one of the most valuable gifts a coach can offer. It requires full, undistracted attention, listening not just to words, but also to emotions, tone, and body language. Presence creates psychological safety, allowing the teacher to explore thoughts without fear of judgment. For coaches to engage in deep listening, they must be fully engaged rather than thinking ahead or multitasking. I find that taking notes while I’m seated next to the coachee so that they can read my notes assists me in listening and staying in the moment. My notes are often key words that I heard the coachee use. Listening actively. Active listening is affirming and helps teacher develops self-awareness. It creates space for the teacher to reflect on their own thoughts. It encourages teachers to articulate challenges and possibilities they may not have previously considered. Active listening supports the idea that the coachee, not the coach, should be doing most of the talking and thinking.

[00:02:30.180] – Steve

Clarifying. Clarifying is not about telling teachers what they mean, but rather reflecting back on what’s been heard and checking for accuracy. This helps the coachee process their own thoughts more clearly, sometimes leading to new insights. Clarifying also reassures the teacher that they are truly being heard and understood, and that It strengthens the trust between coach and coachee. Effective clarifying can involve paraphrasing, asking open-ended questions, or gently challenging inconsistency in thinking in order to support deeper reflection. In my own coaching practice, and when training coaching to others, I have a major focus on questioning and paraphrasing to assist in being present, listening actively, and clarifying. Let me share a little of my thinking about questions for finding out and questions for sparking reflection.

[00:03:49.330] – Steve

I’m big on using the term knowing the teacher’s agenda. It’s important to me that I know what thinking is going on behind the teacher actions that I’m observing. What did the teacher think in planning this lesson? What decisions did the teacher consider in planning and during the lesson? How did the teacher come to make the decisions that she made? In a pre-conference, an example might be, “What did you know about the students as you planned this lesson, and how has that knowing influenced what you planned?” Another in a pre-conference might be, “How important does this piece of the curriculum to your learners and why?” In a post-conference, it might be “when during the lesson did you see what you thought you you would see when you were planning? And what did you see that differed from what you thought while planning?” Another post-conference might be this – “You asked me to record this particular action. What do you think you’ll find when you look at the data that I’ve collected?” The specific example could be, “You ask me to record the questions that you use. What do you think you’ll find as you look at the list of questions?”

[00:05:33.910] – Steve

In many ways, the finding out questions, the knowing questions, are really for me. I want to know the teacher’s thinking before I share my thinking. My decisions about what I’m going to say or how I’m going to say it are influenced by my understanding of the teacher’s thinking. Reflection. With reflection questions, I’m looking at sparking the teacher’s thinking. Through that reflection, the teacher may consider something that he or she would not have consciously thought through had it not been for the questions coming from the coach. I’ve actually had experiences in a pre-conference where at the end of it, because of the reflection the teacher has done, the teacher may look at me and go, “You know what? I don’t even need you to come into my classroom right now because the piece that I wanted to work on, I’ve actually thought through.” That consciousness is an important outcome from reflection. Reflection questions in a pre-conference might be something like this – “You’re planning to have students work in groups of four. What have you experienced when you’ve that in the past?” In a pre-conference, a reflection question might be, “How much of this lesson are you able to plan prior to the lesson versus how much of this lesson will have to be decisions you’re making as the lesson unfolds?”

[00:07:21.550] – Steve

In a post-conference, reflection questions might sound like this – “How do you think my presence impacted what happened in the lesson? What questions came to your mind as the lesson unfolded? Are there questions that are remaining at the end of this lesson? What would you say you learned while teaching this lesson?” It’s critical to give enough time when you’re asking the reflection questions in conferencing. If you ask the question and the person doesn’t begin a response right away, be careful not to begin to offer possible answers, but to just extend that pause time and wait time.

[00:08:18.910] – Steve

While it’s important that coaches provide time for teachers to think following the coach’s question, it is equally important that the coach allow time for herself to think after the teacher’s response. Only then can the coach ask a question that aligns with being fully present during the teacher’s response rather than thinking about the next question. The coach, taking time for herself, communicates being fully present. Paraphrasing is another skill, and it offers deeper reflection on the teacher’s part, as well as increased understanding for the coach about the teacher’s thinking. Here are some of my thoughts on implementing paraphrasing.

[00:09:17.170] – Steve

Paraphrasing is a active listening communication skill. Engaged in a conversation with a person rather than asking them a question question to confirm your understanding. You take the message that you’re receiving from the person and you play it back to them in a statement, followed by a pause, which usually causes them to add additional information, or at minimum, give you a yes that lets you know your interpretation of what you’re hearing is is correct and accurate. I like to title this skill “confirmatory paraphrasing.” So it’s not confirmatory parroting, which is just repeating back exactly what the person said. You may have had that experience of meeting someone the day that they came back from some active listening training. And as you began to talk to them, you’re followed with, so you’re saying, so you’re saying so you’re saying. You want to hit them upside the head and say, if you’d shut up and listen to me, you wouldn’t have to keep repeating what I’m saying. A paraphrasing says that I’m pulling a message from listening to you. That message is influenced by your tone of voice. It’s influenced by your body language. It’s influenced by my past history with you.

[00:10:51.690] – Steve

I’m taking that message, that interpretation that I’m receiving, and I’m playing it back for you to confirm. As you’re listening to a person in coaching, you might confirm the facts, the feelings, the attitudes or opinions. You might confirm an intention they have or a commitment that they’re making. When using the confirmatory paraphrase, your statement that you make needs to end with a period with your voice tone. Example, “You will finish tomorrow.” is a confirmatory paraphrase. “You’ll finish tomorrow?” is a question, even though the words are the same. Here’s some examples. Imagine that you’re in a coaching session and the teacher says to you, “It’s frustrating to put so much time into planning a lesson and then not have it go well.” Here’s a series of different confirmatory paraphrases I might use from that one statement from the teacher. Confirming the facts, I might say, “You put a lot of time into planning this lesson.” Confirming the facts, I might say, “The students were unable to complete the independent activity that you designed.” If I were to confirm the feelings, I might respond to the teacher with, “You’re worried about what to do now.” Or, “You’re angry about the way the students responded.” Or even, “You’re embarrassed to have gotten that outcome while I was observing.”

[00:12:47.680] – Steve

Now, remember, as you’re listening to these, you’re forming a different one in your head because you’re seeing a different teacher, you’re hearing a different tone. It’s not like there’s one correct response here. To continue, the teacher said, “It’s frustrating to put so much time into planning a lesson and then not have it go well.” I might also confirm an attitude or an opinion. “You believe your planning time was wasted.” Or, Y”ou think this should be easier.” If I were to confirm confirm an intention, I’d be looking to confirm a future action the person might take. “You’re planning to reteach this.” Next time, you think you’d break it down into smaller instructional chunks. Lastly, one that I like to use is the confirmatory paraphrase of commitment. I’m looking to reinforce a belief I’m hearing from the teacher. My confirmatory paraphrase of commitment might sound like this – “You’re determined to do whatever it takes for your students to master this concept.” Now, why would I choose to use a confirmatory paraphrase over asking a question? My question, “Are you going to reteach this?” could be used to confirm similar to my confirmatory I’ll paraphrase, “You’re planning to reteach this.”

[00:14:33.370] – Steve

Confirmatory paraphrases invite a response. Questions require a response. Often, one of the concerns with questioning is that questions communicate control. If you think of an irate parent coming to school, the irate parent may come in the door asking questions. And as long as they’re asking questions, they’re in control. If you find yourself feeling on the defensive because of their action, you may fire a question back at them in order to pull control onto your side. So whenever you’re in a situation where you’re looking to downplay your authority, one way to communicate that is to have fewer questions and more confirmatory paraphrases. Coaching is often a spot where you’re looking to communicate exactly that message. And so making your questions more open-ended and having fewer questions because of the use of confirmatory paraphrasing allows you to communicate that more shared partnership level with the teacher you’re coaching.

[00:16:12.580] – Steve

Just like the need for a coach to take time after a coachee’s response to form a question that is driven from fully listening. Some pause time to form a confirmatory paraphrase may be needed. It’s not uncommon for me to stop in the middle of a question or a paraphrase and actually modify my response as I tended to do even some more reflective thinking as I began responding. I believe that those actions communicate commitment to deep listening and understanding. Campbell and Van Nieuwerburgh reinforce that great coaching questions are an extension of great listening. The coach’s role is not to ask leading questions, but to pose questions that emerge from deep attention and help the coachees refine their own thinking. Questioning and paraphrase paraphrasing, reinforce the idea that the role of the coach is not to fix or direct, but to create conditions where the coachee can explore and refine their own thinking. The listening-focused nature of open questions and paraphrases supports a growth-oriented coaching environment in which the teacher feels valued, heard, and empowered to take ownership of their own professional learning. You might consider taping a few of your coaching conversations and identify where you are currently practicing or could be implementing more questioning and paraphrasing that pushes deep listening.

[00:18:07.860] – Steve

All educators deserve coaching that is built on deep listening. Thank you for your listening.

[00:18:18.590] – Steve [Outro]

Thanks for listening, folks. I’d love to hear what you’re pondering. You can find me on Twitter or LinkedIn at Steve Barkley, or send me your questions and find my videos and blogs at barkleypd.com.

I listened to an interview with Daniel Goldman on NAESP Radio, Emotionally Intelligent Leadership: What Principals Need to Be Emotionally Equipped. While Goldman discussed the importance of Emotional Intelligence in a principal’s role he described the need to:

“Tune into the person you are with…. Really listening… identifying what is really on the mind of the person talking to you”

Vivian Giang writing, Listen Up: The One Skill You Need to Be a Better Leader,  stated that listening is one of the toughest skills to master and offered five ways you to be a great listener at work.

#1 Don’t interrupt– “Turn off the voice in your head that constantly makes assumptions, judges the speaker and contemplates what you will say next. Don’t finish the other person’s sentences or interrupt their train of thought,”

#2 Listen for feelings-“People do not always express their feelings or concerns directly, especially to their bosses. Pay attention to words that express feelings or needs and to nonverbal behaviors that may reflect how someone feels,” 

 #3 Repeat what you heard back to the person– “Paraphrasing helps you check for accuracy and understanding. Clarify any emotion you think you saw the person express in their verbal expressions or body language.”

#4 Acknowledge what was said– Do not criticize what was said, but be genuinely honest about your opinions. “This is how you build a relationship.”

#5 Look for nonverbal clues– “Acknowledge anything you have noticed and check for accuracy.”

In Quality Teaching in a Culture of Coaching, I describe the verbal skill of a confirmatory paraphrase that coaches can use in conferencing with teachers to improve and highlight their listening.

“The confirmatory paraphrase is a statement that summarizes what the other person said: it indicates that the coach is listening, thus creating alignment and trust between both parties, and it also allows the coach to begin using the same language as the coachee.

While listening, identify a fact, attitude, feeling, intention or commitment you are hearing expressed.  Then state what you interpreted was said.

Teacher: “When Sarah came in late, I got really upset.”

Coach: “You became angry.” (Feeling)

Coach: “She is often late” (Fact)

Coach: “You believe getting upset was not helpful.” (Attitude)

Coach: “Next time you want to respond differently” (Intent)

Coach:” You really want Sarah to become successful.” (Commitment)

When using a confirmatory paraphrase I am expecting a “yes” response that tells me the message I think I am hearing is what the other person is communicating. Sometimes my interpretation is wrong and the person corrects me, building understanding.

Teacher: Many students need more practice than the current pacing guide suggests.

Coach: You believe the amount of content is too much. (attitude)

Teacher: No, I think I just need more flexibility in deciding when my students are ready to take district summative assessments.

Coach: So adjusting the timing of assessments could increase your students’ success. (attitude)

Teacher: Yes, I think so.

It is important when paraphrasing to avoid parroting what the other person said.

Teacher: There is a very wide difference in my students’ reading levels.

Coach Parroting:  There is a wide difference in your students’ reading levels.

Coach Paraphrasing: You see working with all those different levels an important issue.

Consciously practicing paraphrasing can increase your leadership listening and communicate your support for your staff.