How can coaches’ use of radical listening generate teachers’ reflection and increase a sense of teachers’ empowerment? Examine some of the obstacles to and strategies for radical listening from the work of Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and Christian Van Nieuwerburgh authors of, “Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection.” As coaches, when we resist the urge to jump in with comparisons, advice, or quick fixes—and instead, lean into radical listening—we communicate trust, respect, and belief in the teacher’s capacity.

Listen to the Podcast, “Mastering Coaching and Leadership | Robert Biswas-Diener | Craig Dowden, PhD” here.

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Podcast Transcript:

[00:00:00.220] – Steve [Intro]

Welcome to the Steve Barkley Ponders Out Loud podcast. As instructional coaches and school leaders, you are tasked with guiding continuous teacher growth to create student success. This podcast looks to support you with strategies from experienced guests, as well as my own insights that I’ve gathered over the years. I’m thrilled to have you with us. Thanks for tuning in.

[00:00:29.950] – Steve

Radical Listening in Coaching. In the December Insights from Growth International, Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and Christian Van Nieuwerburgh shared the need for stepping beyond active listening to radical listening. They describe how active listening, as it was presented by Carl Rogers in the ’70s, might be insufficient for coaches today. In a world of digital distractions and a sense of poverty of time, coaches may find even paraphrasing and questioning unattainable. They suggested the need to build on active listening skills to develop radical listening. Radical listening is a deeply intentional and focused form of listening, where the listener suspends judgment, silences internal responses, and fully attends to the speaker’s words, emotions, and underlying needs. It requires setting aside the urge to fix, solve, or offer advice immediately, and instead to create space for the speaker to feel heard, understood, and valued.

[00:01:46.700] – Steve

Radical listening involves curiosity, empathy, and a commitment to understanding both what is said and what has been unsaid. That’s a pretty powerful task, setting aside my own biases and judgments to fully understand the speaker’s perspective. A thought that I use in my approach to coaching is that I look not to share what I’m thinking until I understand what the coachee is thinking. Knowing that I’m not clearly understanding the coachee’s thinking pushes me to probe more and listen more closely. Van Nieuwerburgh and Biswas-Diener identified six common obstacles to deep radical thinking. They call them comparing, competing, misreading, advising, priority status, and lastly, time poverty. As I go through those, can you sense that any of these obstacles are happening to you? The first one, they called comparing. In comparing, the coach thinks or says to him or herself, that experience has also happened to me. Now, I think that’s pretty easy to happen because I have a desire to show connectedness and understanding. In order to do that, we jump in and communicate that comparison. “I understand. I’ve been there, too.” But even when we have been there, the comment can be dismissive to the coachee.

[00:03:31.620] – Steve

As an example, a teacher shares his struggles with classroom management, and a coach might respond, “Oh, I remember when I had the same issue with my class a few years back. It took me quite a while to figure out that I had to set and model expectations.” Now, the reality is you never had the students that this teacher has, and you never had them at this time and in this space that that teacher has. This shift in conversation from the teacher’s experience to the coach’s experience, risk invalidating the teacher’s emotions and thus missing an opportunity to truly understand their unique politics. Consider replacing the comparison with your story with the phrase, “Tell me more.” A second obstacle, which steps beyond comparing, is competing. “I’ve had it even worse than you’re having it.” A teacher talks about feeling overwhelmed by curriculum changes, and the coach might reply, I dealt with that chaos when I taught during a switch to new state standards. Or the coach might say, I’m hearing that from several other teachers. Again, while this may be an attempt on the coach’s part to suggest the problem is common, stated too early, it again can make the teacher feel dismissed or even belittled as their concerns are overshadowed by the story of others, or that the problem that they’re seeing as challenging actually isn’t all that challenging.

[00:05:13.600] – Steve

A third obstacle to consider is called mind reading. Before the teacher even finishes explaining their challenge, the coach interrupts with, “I know what you’re saying. Your students aren’t persisting because they’re in a hurry to get it correct and get their desired grade.” Now, the coach’s assumption shuts down the teacher’s opportunity to articulate their own understanding of the situation. That’s an important reflection that the teacher needs. It likely also prevents the coach from gaining more important insights as the teacher’s reflection is critical to empowerment that should be an outcome of the coaching process. Another obstacle that they identified is advising. Advising occurs when the coach’s thinking jumps to, “I figured out how to solve that problem.” After hearing only part of a teacher’s concerns about differentiating instruction, a coach might quickly suggest, I always found that by grouping students with mixed ability levels, I was more successful. This premature advice can make the teacher feel rushed or unheard, reducing their sense of ownership over the solution. I want you to listen in for a moment as Biswas-Diener defines the importance of coaching having a high desire to ask.

[00:06:46.020] – Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

I believe that a desire to ask is one of the central tenets of coaching. The coaching mindset is really the belief that the person can figure it out for themselves, even if that means they have to go ask other people how to do it, then they’re just capable, they have resources. And I do think that leaders are about resourcing people, giving them the space and support they need to figure it out and perform well and do a good job. So I think the desire to ask people and then meet them where they are rather than rush in and think, well, I know how to do this. I used to be in your role, therefore I’m going to tell you, just I’m trying to figure out, well, how much of this do you know? What is it that you don’t need help with because you’ve got it? Where do you feel shakier? How can we support you on that?

[00:07:42.480] – Steve

Another obstacle is priority status. This is where the coach ends up appearing as an expert. Consider a teacher sharing her struggles with required district assessments, and the coach responds with, “I’ve coached a lot of teachers who have had that struggle. I have several strategies that can help.” Priority status reinforces a hierarchical dynamic where the coach’s expertise is prioritized over the teacher’s insights. Potentially, stifling authentic dialog and thus stifling the teacher’s sense of being an empowered problem solver. In the book, “The Impact Cycle,” Jim Knight cautions that when we take on a helper mindset, we can easily shift toward a savior complex, where the coach takes on the responsibility for the teacher improvement rather than empowering the teacher to take ownership of their own learning. The helper role can unintentionally strip teachers of agency and autonomy and lead to compliance-based coaching, where teachers implement strategies because they’re told to rather than because they’ve internalized their own reasons for making a change. The last obstacle that was mentioned by the authors was time poverty. Time poverty is a sense on the coach’s part that I just don’t have the time to listen. As the teacher starts to explain a parent communication issue that is troubling her, the coach’s nonverbals might say, “This really isn’t all that important.”

[00:09:32.410] – Steve

The teacher becomes discouraged from sharing fully, and thus trust is eroded, and that makes future conversations less productive. Time poverty also interferes with the teacher’s participation in the coaching process. The teachers hurry up, give me a suggestion so that I can get back to the list of have to get dones in my classroom interferes with the coach spending enough time asking and taking that empowering approach. In their book, Radical Listening, The Art of True Connection, Van Nieuwerburgh and Biswas-Diener introduced six core competencies which foster deeper connections and understanding. These are the antidotes to the obstacles that I’ve discussed. The first one, noticing, being fully present and attentive to both verbal and nonverbal cues, quieting, calming one’s internal dialog to focus entirely on the speaker, accepting, embracing the speaker’s perspective without judgment, acknowledging, recognizing and validating the speaker’s feelings and viewpoints, questioning, asking thoughtful questions to deepen understanding, and lastly, interjecting, offering insights or reflections at the appropriate moments to enhance the conversation. Here’s how those items might sound in a sample coach-teacher dialog. Coach: Hey, great to connect. What have you been exploring or pondering? Teacher: Honestly, I’m feeling pretty stuck with student engagement.

[00:11:36.760] – Steve

It feels like no matter how much energy I put in, a chunk of the class just zones out. I’ve tried some group work and projects, but it’s not clicking. Coach: That sounds frustrating. You’ve tried different strategies, several strategies, and yet the same students remain disengaged. Teacher: Yeah, it’s making me question if I’m even reaching them. I keep thinking I’m missing something, but I can’t figure out what it is. Coach: I can hear how important it is for you to reach every student. Can you tell me more about what you know and notice with the disengaged students? Are there patterns? Teacher: Now that you ask, I think it’s more during independent task. When I’m guiding them, they’re okay, but when I step back, that’s when some drift off. Coach: when the direct support is reduced, some students lose focus. What do you think might be going on for them during that time. Teacher. Maybe they don’t feel confident working on their own, or maybe they’re not clear on what’s expected. Coach. Those are valuable possibilities to explore. I’m wondering if it would be valuable for me to observe a transition or two from directed to independent task with the particular students as a focus.

[00:13:11.550] – Steve

I might be able to gather some observations and add them to your exploration. Teacher. Yeah, I’m sure you’ll hear and see things that I’m not with my attention being on the whole class. Coach. Great. Let me know the students who should be my focus and the best times for those observation. I always look forward to learning about students and ways to reach them. Thanks for the opportunity. Now, in that example, my intent was for the dialog to illustrate there being no comparing, competing, or mind reading. Hopefully, the coach is staying focused on the teacher’s unique experience. Key word there, unique experience. Experience. There’s no premature advising. Instead of giving immediate strategies, the coach facilitates reflection and ownership. And hopefully, time is valued. There wasn’t a rush. Hopefully, the coach’s body language and pacing would show patience and presence. Radical listening isn’t easy, especially in fast-paced environments where time feels tight and pressures are high. But it is one of the most powerful tools we have to foster meaningful professional growth by creating for teachers time to think, reflect, begin, Even uncovering their own solutions. As coaches, when we resist the urge to jump in with comparisons, advice, or quick fixes, and instead lean When we lean into radical listening, we communicate trust, respect, and belief in the teacher’s capacity.

[00:15:09.910] – Steve

Consider pulling one element of the radical listening strategies and consciously practicing it in a few of your upcoming coaching conversations. Thanks for tuning in.

[00:15:25.390] – Steve [Outro]

Thanks for listening, folks. I’d love to hear what you’re pondering. You can find me on Twitter or LinkedIn at Steve Barkley, or send me your questions and find my videos and blogs at barkleypd.com.

 

I was introduced to the term Relational Energy in a blog by Kim Cameron.

“Positive energy elevates individuals, is life-giving and fosters vitality. In nature, the most common source of positive energy is the sun. It is the life-giving force. All species, including human beings, are inclined over time toward life-giving energy, and they avoid life-depleting or life-endangering energy. This phenomenon is called the heliotropic effect.”

Allison Sheehan defines the heliotropic effect as a natural search for light. “Which simply means that every living system has a tendency toward the light and away from darkness, or a tendency towards that which is life-giving and away from that which endangers life. For example, if you put a plant near a window that faces the sun, you will soon notice that the plant begins leaning toward the light. In other words, it is leaning toward the light that gives it life. It’s natural for us to want to find the most beneficial thing for us. We want to perform as our best selves and achieve flow and virtuousness in our work. Companies who encourage and enable employees to succeed in these areas will receive benefits from happy and engaged employees.”

Happy and engaged teachers certainly should be a focus of school leaders as the new school year begins among the still confusing impacts of COVID. It is the only way to create learning environments for happy and engaged learners.

Unlike expending physical, mental, and emotional energy which generally requires some recovery time, relational energy tends to elevate and renew itself. We seldom become exhausted, for example, by being around loving, supportive people who help uplift us. In fact, we often seek relational energy to become renewed. Relational energy renews us, uplifts us and refreshes us. It is the energy exchanged between two individuals. (Kim Cameron)

Cameron lists five attributes of positively energizing leaders that I see strongly connecting to effective instructional leadership and instructional coaching.

Listening actively and empathetically

In the Leader’s Guide to Coaching in Schools, John Campbell and Christian van Nieuwerburgh identity these three important guidelines that I see connected to active and empathetic listening:

Being Present – “There are few greater gifts we can give another person these days than being present.” Giving full and focused attention is a powerful way to build trust.

Listening Actively – “Listening at a level that really hears not only words but also emotions is enormously affirming, generating insights and self-understanding.” Listening in coaching isn’t a request for more information but rather enabling the teacher to listen to herself.

Clarifying – “Clarifying consists of confirming that the coach has heard and understood what the coachee has said and intended.” The coachee should gain greater clarity herself from the coach’s clarifying process.

Expressing gratitude and humility

In an earlier blog, I explored intellectual humility with these four questions from Warren Burger:

• Do I think more like a soldier or a scout? (Scouts explore new territory.)
• Would I rather be right, or would I rather understand?
• Do I seek out opposing points of view?
• Do I enjoy the pleasant surprise of discovering I am mistaken?

Instilling confidence and self-efficacy in others and helping them flourish

Certainly, this is the real payoff of a coaching culture in a school. When teachers see an instructional coach as someone who supports them in achieving their goals rather than as someone implementing a district’s “program,” relational energy builds.
Coaching conversations, where the teacher’s agenda emerges and develops over time, increase understanding, build trust, and promote vulnerability and risk-taking. The teacher’s agenda includes the beliefs, values, and thinking behind the teacher’s decision-making. A general guideline, I recommend, is that a coach wants to know what the teacher is thinking before sharing what the coach is thinking. (From an earlier blog, Uncovering Teachers’ Agendas)

“Truly effective coaching places people above programs.”

(Perret and McKee, Compassionate Coaching)

Being trusting and trustworthy

Increasingly, I am finding instructional coaching and teacher leadership job descriptions that blur the lines between evaluation, supervision, and coaching responsibilities. Answering these questions can assist in building trust: What happens in each of these roles? What can a teacher expect and not expect? How does the observer’s role change in each of these? What responsibilities does the teacher have in each activity? (Find more in this blog, Building Trust with Expectations)

Motivating others to exceed performance standards

I have spoken often about the need for school leaders to keep the challenge of continuous improvement in front of all educators. I suggest that all teachers be asked at the beginning of the year to describe what they are planning to do that they have never done before. Your strongest teachers might be asked what they are planning to do that perhaps no one has done before. Those high-performing teachers should be on the cutting edge of action research helping us discover a breakthrough in learning.

What conscious steps can you take to increase relational energy?

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.”

(Often attributed to John Quincy Adams)