Becca Silver invited me to preview and write the forward to her new book, The Resistance Solution: Why Educators Resist Change and What They Need Instead. I thought I’d share that forward to introduce her work to you. Becca reinforced and extended my thinking about hearing and responding to resistance in coaching and school change. I believe you will find similar benefits.
The Forward
Instructional coaches and school leaders quickly learn that resistance rarely announces itself loudly. More often, it appears in small moments—a hesitant response during a meeting, a polite nod that doesn’t lead to classroom change, a question that carries more of a statement than curiosity. When these moments occur, it is easy to interpret them as reluctance, disagreement, or even opposition. Yet the most effective leaders come to recognize that resistance is rarely the real problem. Resistance is information.
Very early in my work as a teacher leader, I participated in a verbal skills training program that introduced an idea I’ve carried with me ever since: resistance usually comes from somewhere. Sometimes it grows out of emotion, sometimes from pride or professional identity, and sometimes from intellectual disagreement. The training suggested that our response should match the source—empathy for emotion, approval for identity, and support for reasoning. I came to understand that we cannot change another person’s thinking for them. What we can do is create conditions in which people feel safe enough, capable enough, and respected enough to examine their own thinking and consider new possibilities.
Over time, that early learning shaped my work with instructional coaches and school leaders. When resistance is taken personally, defensiveness emerges—and collaboration and change become highly unlikely. When coaches hear resistance, my advice has long been to respond with questions and paraphrasing rather than telling. Responding with curiosity instead of defensiveness keeps conversations open and maintains relationships—both essential conditions for meaningful growth.
Becca Silver’s work extended my insights in powerful and practical ways. We have had several engaging podcast conversations where she reinforced listening even more carefully. Listening —not just for where resistance comes from, but for what it may be protecting and what someone needs next. Her framework shifts resistance from something leaders must manage to something leaders can interpret. Resistance stops sounding like opposition and begins sounding like information.
At times when leaders experience resistance they push harder or tighten expectations. At other times, they worry that pressing forward will damage relationships they value. The tension between maintaining humanity and maintaining expectations is one of the most difficult aspects of leadership in schools. This book offers another way to navigate that tension. Rather than asking leaders to choose between support and accountability, Becca shows how understanding what sits underneath resistance allows both to exist together.
One of the important contributions of this book is how clearly it names the questions educators are often asking themselves when change is introduced: Does this matter? Can I succeed? Do I belong in this work? Is growth possible here? Can I influence what happens next? When those questions remain unanswered, resistance naturally follows. When leaders learn to listen for these questions, their responses begin to change. Conversations become more about understanding than about convincing. Progress becomes less about compliance and more about commitment.
After years of working alongside coaches and administrators responding to resistance, I found my own listening sharpened by Becca’s perspective. Her work helped me recognize more clearly that resistance is something to learn from. When coaches respond to resistance with thoughtful questions and genuine curiosity, they and the coachee uncover the information needed to support real change. This reinforced my long-held coaching stance of serving as a thought partner.
As you read this book, you will likely begin recognizing familiar moments from your own work—conversations that stalled, initiatives that lost traction, or classrooms where change felt slower than you hoped. Becca’s framework offers a way to revisit those moments with new insight and renewed possibilities. Instead of asking how to overcome resistance, you will begin asking what the resistance is telling you. Resistance stops being a barrier. It becomes an invitation to understand what people need next. That shift has the potential to transform not only individual conversations, but the culture of growth within a school.
Becca Silver has provided educators with a thoughtful and practical guide for making that shift. I believe you will find, as I did, that once you begin listening for what sits underneath resistance, your coaching and leadership conversations—and the change they support—begin to feel different in positive and important ways.
Becca Silver, The Whole Educator
