Writing for the Harvard Business Review, Do Your Employees Feel Respected?, Kristie Rogers reports that, “When you ask workers what matters most to them, feeling respected by superiors often tops the list. In a recent survey by Georgetown University’s Christine Porath of nearly 20,000 employees worldwide, respondents ranked respect as the most important leadership behavior.”
Beth Armknecht Miller in Start With Trust When Coaching, shares these suggestions for building trust:
- Be curious and ask lots of questions. Start with open-ended questions — ones that start with “what” and “how, and try not to use “why” questions. “Why” can make a person defensive. Curiosity builds relationships while judging will kill relationships. Curiosity demonstrates that you are interested in the coachee and builds trust in your relationship.
- Actively listen. To be truly curious, you have to set aside your own opinions and ideas, and listen to the answers to your questions in order to fully understand what the person is saying. Don’t interrupt. Paraphrase back to them to make sure you understand what he said. This demonstrates respect to the person talking.
I’ve created this short video on respecting teachers’ goals and values. When a teacher knows that the coach recognizes and supports her goals and values, she is more open (vulnerable) to the exploration, reflection, and experimentation in coaching that produces new understanding and skills.
I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts.