Before You Label It Resistance, Get Curious

What if the statements we label as resistance are actually invitations to get curious?

As a school leader or instructional coach, have you ever heard a statement like this: “But we have always done it that way”? In a SmartBrief blog, Julie Winkle Giulioni describes that as a phrase leaders cringe at hearing. I have had school leaders and instructional coaches share that cringe response with me. They have also shared these similar “cringe-inducing” statements.

“We tried that before.”

“That won’t work with our students.”

“I don’t have time for that.”

“This too shall pass.”

“I need to cover the curriculum.”

“My students aren’t ready for that.”

Giulioni suggests that our immediate negative response to these statements may come at an opportunity cost. What might we miss when we label a response as resistance too quickly? How can we suspend our immediate reaction, listen longer, and learn more about what sits behind the words we are hearing? Getting curious rather than responding to our initial interpretation is a good place to start.

Teacher: We have always done it that way and it works.

Coach: What are the results that indicate that it works?

Teacher: Our students’ scores are in line with other districts in the community.

Coach: If the results you’re currently getting improved, what would you most want to see change?

Teacher: I guess our lowest performing students might score higher.

Coach: Do you have an idea of what those students might need that isn’t currently present?

Teacher: Probably more time and instruction than we’re currently able to give them.

Coach: Would you be willing to look through the new program with me with an eye on what might support those students?

Teacher: Sure…. Where do you think that support would be found?

Notice that the coach never challenged the teacher’s initial statement. There was no attempt to convince the teacher that the current practice wasn’t working or that the new program was better. Instead, the coach stayed curious long enough for the teacher to identify something they would like to improve. The conversation shifted from defending current practice to investigating a possibility. The coach’s curiosity created an opportunity for the teacher to become curious.

I’ve increasingly encouraged coaches and leaders to hear resistance as a signal: There’s something I don’t know.

Becca Silver’s work on resistance has helped me think more deeply about what that “something I don’t know” might be. She encourages leaders and coaches not to view resistance simply as refusal or unwillingness to change, but to get curious about the need or concern that may be underneath it.

When someone says, “We’ve always done it that way,” what might they be protecting? Perhaps it is competence, confidence, autonomy, predictability, or something they believe is working for their students. When someone says, “We tried that before,” what experience sits behind that statement? When someone says, “I don’t have time for that,” what are they already carrying that I may not understand?

Resistance provides information—if we are willing to listen for it.

Approaching resistance with curiosity may begin with the questions we ask ourselves before we ever respond. What might you be wondering as you hear these teacher statements?

“That won’t work with our students.”

What does this teacher know or believe about these students that I need to understand?

“This too shall pass.”

What past experiences with change might be shaping this response?

“I need to cover the curriculum.”

What concern about responsibility, expectations, or student success is underneath this statement?

Curiosity doesn’t mean avoiding accountability or abandoning an expectation for change. It means understanding the concern before deciding how best to respond to it. The goal of approaching what sounds like resistance with curiosity isn’t to make the resistance disappear. It’s to understand what the resistance is telling us. Once you understand the concern, you may still need to ask the teacher to make a change. But now you are responding to the actual concern rather than your interpretation of the teacher as “resistant.” Being heard and understood builds trust—which is especially important when the teacher and leader don’t ultimately agree on what should happen.

As leaders, we need to resist the urge to label, interpret, persuade, and respond before understanding. Perhaps the first resistance we need to manage is our own—the resistance to staying curious long enough to hear what sits behind the initial words.

So, when you hear what sounds like resistance, don’t ask first, “How do I overcome this resistance?” Ask, “What do I need to understand?”